Serve Instead of Extract

This phrase keeps circling in my head.

Not as a slogan. Not as a principle to preach. Just a quiet measure I find myself returning to in more and more areas of life.

I don’t think I came to it through a single moment or mindset shift. It’s more like something I’ve grown into—through years of leading, building, parenting, partnering, managing. Through wins and failures. Through some hard conversations and some quiet ones.

When I look back, I can see a pattern: I've made choices that haven’t always made sense strategically. I’ve taken on more risk than others in partnerships. I’ve shared ownership, deferred recognition, forgiven debts. I’ve built in ways that benefited the people around me more than myself. It wasn’t always calculated. Sometimes I just did what felt right at the time.

I don’t name any of that to be noble. In fact, I’m still working out the balance between generosity and wisdom, service and sustainability. I’ve gotten it wrong in both directions. But this phrase—serve instead of extract—keeps helping me find the right questions.

Is this decision serving someone, or extracting from them?
Is this system treating people like humans, or like leverage?
Is this business structured to create shared good—or just personal gain?

These are not simple questions. They often pull against comfort, efficiency, or short-term success. But they help me stay awake to the kind of life I’m trying to live—especially when things get noisy, or uncertain, or hard.

I don’t have a framework or a takeaway. Just a compass I’m trying to keep in view.